Listen to me on Healing Arts Radio!

That’s right, I’m getting my very own show on the Para-X Network!  Wednesdays at 10pm starting April 18, I’ll host a weekly, hour long LIVE call in show that brings together the Healing Arts, Energy, Spirituality, Shamanism & Anthropology and the Paranormal.  The network is online and if you miss a show, you’ll be able to stream it on a week’s delay. You can find out more at HealingArtsRadioOnline.com and Para-X.com.

Want to be a guest? See what I’m looking for here

This would not have happened without all of you…thank you for your support!

A Good Time to Clean Our Own House

Ever have one of those times where the same messages and lessons keep playing themselves right in front of you?  It’s like the themes of the past week or so have been the obliteration of dysfunction and defenestration of those abusing power, all with no regard for the status quo.  Perhaps it’s something in the stars…if there is any truth to this astrological prediction, Pluto is quite the Honey Badger.  It would seem this planet for which a dopey cartoon dog is named is going all Kali Ma in the cosmos.  It’s kind of creepy, yet really profound-and as I try to let it wash over me, and hopefully learn by example rather than become one, I feel a need to reflect and hash this out in blog form. Maybe you’re processing it too.

The subject here may make many of your stomachs turn (or eyes roll) but there is a situation that everyone in the Yoga community is either discussing at length or running furiously away from conversation about. Yes, it’s John Friend, the founder of Anusara Yoga who earlier this month had some mighty disturbing accusations made about him and his company, Anusara Inc.  Some of you are already aware of the allegations, so you can skip the next paragraph

Among them were claims of financial improprieties, abuse of his authority for sex with female employees (some of whom were married), and having employees accept illegal drugs on his behalf. While he has “apologized” and stepped down, he has not categorically admitted fault and to the best of my knowledge has yet to be charged with anything, so at this point the full truth-whatever it may be-has yet to come out.  The anonymous website which posted financial documents, sexually explicit photographs and skype conversations to back up the claims (http://www.jfexposed.com/) is no longer operational, yet was viewed by thousands before it went offline.  Some staff were admittedly complicit with all that was going on, and outward appearances would suggest it all to be one heck of a cult like environment over there.

Many of his teachers have resigned, though few have spoken publicly about the matters surrounding their departure. Then Yesterday one of Mr. Friend’s former employees, Elena Brower, was published in The Huffington Post. Her piece, which you can read here,  directly supports that many of the inner circle (herself included) knew precisely what was going on for quite some time and kept mum.  That is the only favorable thing I can say about the article. At no point does she apologize for failing to speak out. To add literal insult to injury, she defends John Friend while accusing the “disgruntled” former I.T. guy of Anusara Inc. for putting up the jfexposed.com website (an allegation he has strongly denied numerous times) and quite childishly admonishes the  popular Yoga community blog Yoga Dork  for actually reporting on the story, calling their coverage “salacious” and “desperately sensationalized”.

This prompted me to read all of Yoga Dork’s coverage from the beginning to present to see what she was referring to.  And you know what-it was more balanced reporting than I’ve seen in various articles on CNN.com (don’t take my word for it, read Yoga Dork’s coverage for yourself).  It was not over the top, it was factual.

Let’s look at the definition of “salacious”:

sa·la·cious

adjective

1.lustful or lecherous.

2.(of writings, pictures, etc.) obscene; grossly indecent.

Ms. Brower,  I’m sorry, but the actions of John Friend were what was salacious…not someone writing about it.

Anyone in the healing/Yoga/New Agey world is aware of the “don’t speak of negativity, for that is to give birth to negativity” mantra that many others have.  I’ve always found fault with this.  Speaking of a factual event(s), places, things, trends etc and identifying them as being factually opposite shiny and happy is NOT what makes things bad.  Rather, it’s the identification of something that isn’t working that gives an opportunity to be corrected.

When I was a kid I was in Alateen, a spinoff group of Al-Anon and AA which is to support children and teens who have been affected by someone else’s drinking.  They had a wonderful way of explaining the importance of admitting that there was a problem-in fact, the very first of the 12 steps is admitting that there is one.  Because really, without that, where the hell are we going?  We can’t begin to fix that which we refuse to acknowledge is broken.

Their analogy for failing to speak up is “ignoring the elephant in the room”. Just because we choose not to say “hey, there is an elephant right there” does not make it any less there.  Denial only serves to make us powerless in the face of adversity.

Furthermore,  if you ignore the elephant long enough, he’ll do quite a bit of damage.  And that is what appears to have happened here-the few who knew about what was going on and did nothing, enabling John Friend to continue his damage unchecked, and stood by and let the elephant shit the bed that is Anusara Inc. And that’s the real tragedy here-a lot of people did NOT have any idea what was going on, and their spiritual center has been shaken to it’s core.  Their trust has been betrayed. Their expensive certifications are at least for now quite tarnished.  Many staff members at Anusara Inc. report being laid off, and others report many would-be students are trying to cancel out of upcoming Anusara trainings. Some have argued that this has given all of Yoga a bit of a black eye. As often happens, all the wrong people are paying the price for the misdeeds.

The article Elena wrote was less an article and more an editorial that inadvertently indicted the culture at Anusara Inc. that allowed this all to happen in the first place. Even though she stepped down about four months before the scandal broke, it still smells like Stokholm Syndrome.  What she clearly was not expecting when she wrote it was the backlash she got in the comments, of which there are more every minute.  Elephant Journal went so far as to encourage it’s readers to go to those comments and pad them with nice things…and that backfired too, bringing even more negative feedback. When she went into the comments in an attempt to correct the course, (something she also did on Yoga Dork, despite her promise to boycott them until she got an apology) she succeeded in only making it worse.

What stands out through all of this is the indignation on part of Ms. Brower and others at the very idea that anyone else besides them could or should have any opinion at all as to what went on in the house of Anusara. I’m sorry guys, but you had a chance to clean up the mess before it spiraled out of control like this.  It’s like an episode of Hoarders: the mess in your house is only your business until the point it starts seeping out the sides.  Once the Feds are investigating what happened to pension plans, it’s far too late for a mop.

 

So what can we take away from this?  A whole lot, actually…and none of it includes relishing in the collapse of something that has clearly helped so many. Besides being hit with yet another reminder of why Gurus do not work,  it’s a really great time to clean out our own closets.  Get the mops out while there is still time, and clean up the mess on our own terms.  One of the Precepts of Reiki is “Just for Today, I will work hard and honestly”.  Are we living up to that? The truth is a stubborn son of a bitch that has a way of making itself known.  Like so many long forgotten leftovers in the back of the fridge, the longer it’s allowed to fester the more offensive it becomes.

 

The other thing we can do is look at this mess and feel actual sorrow for those hurt by it, especially those who had no idea what was happening.  I have many friends who are Yogis, and at least a handful of those rooted in Anusara.  To each and every one of you, I am dreadfully sorry for what has happened.  This is no reflection on you, at least in my eyes.

Thanks for reading. I think we all have some cleaning to do. I’m going to go get on that.

*A note about the comments: Go for it. But know that this is a private blog not a public forum. If the comment you post is of a personally slanderous nature (to anyone, even John Friend) and has no verifiable basis, I will delete it.  I also won’t allow the pornographic or lewd content associated with this debacle to be posted here, nor links to it. I don’t pay per month to host this site so you can do that. Get your own blog.

New Year, New Unhealthy Gimmick

Happy 2012 everyone!  I hope you are looking forward to this New Year as much as I am.  I’ve got some really great stuff on the horizon, and I just can’t wait to sink my teeth into all the opportunities. Plus, I survived another Philadelphia New Year with all it’s celebratory gunfire and Mummer fueled debauchery.  I even got my strut on.  But before I go any further, can we talk about all the New Years diet gimmicks being neatly packaged as “wellness” and a new lease on life?

I know, not much of a segue, so sue me.   But the truth is it’s January 4th and I’ve received no less than 13 different local offers to lose weight, be happier, and get a “new me” by taking their class or workshop.  I can only imagine that the number would be so much higher if many of the wellness workers in this City didn’t know me or read this blog, thus knowing to leave me off the invite.

New Year’s Day might be an arbitrary one for bold resolve; only made more relevant than the other 364 days of the year by all the literal glitz.  But for what it’s worth, New Years seems like a great time to think about the year past and give us some perspective on what we might like to change.   I certainly have no issue with adopting better life habits, with taking stock of what is truly going on in our lives, or with deepening practices of what works for us.  But where is the point where we are no longer pushing “healthy”?

First, let’s explore what “health” really means.  We’d like our bodies to work well physically and mentally, and be free from disease and injury if at all possible.  Generally, we take this to mean eating right and exercising, among other things.  Most of us could probably do something to improve our overall health, and many of us may be ready to shed some weight. Hopefully, we’re making these decisions because they are medically sound and not because someone is selling us happiness.  As a recovering anorexic (something I discuss here) I can attest that skinny does not necessarily equal healthy or happy. True too is that being what some may call “overweight” does not necessarily make someone unhealthy or unhappy…but for a better presentation of that, I’d suggest swinging by Dances with Fat as Ragen Chastain writes much more eloquently on the topic than do I.   Being healthy is a moving target, and what has to be done to get there or maintain that level of health varies greatly.  Crash diets are NOT a part of a healthy lifestyle.

One of the most popular catch phrases of 2011 was “war on obesity”.  Eek!  I find it confusing that we’re vilifying fat over promoting health.  I once found a “diet” program led by someone who’s only qualification was that they sold vitamins.  And this time last year a Yoga studio right here in my own City of Philadelphia was running a weight loss program that paid a cash prize to the person losing the most weight and started their promotional facebook messages with “get your sexy body back”.  Namaste indeed.

If you are among those looking for a change in your size in 2012, check into the programs before you put down your deposit.  Find out who is leading it, their qualifications, where they studied, etc.  and how much personal attention if any you’ll get.  If you are asked to sign a release form without a health questionnaire of any kind, it’s a red flag.  A good nutritionist will want to know what your needs are before advising anything.

For those wellness professionals offering a “New You in the New Year” diet program, first please ask yourself if you are even truly trained and qualified to tell people what to/not to eat on an individual basis.  Unless you are trained in nutrition and physiology, you aren’t. Reiki practitioners may wish to see my previous post here.  If you are qualified, sensitivity in your marketing and throughout the program is key.  You may understand that each participant is on a unique path, but they may not.  Lead by example, and do your best to prevent students from comparing themselves to each other.

In closing, 2011 was one Hell of a year.  I don’t fault anyone for wanting change on any level.  I’m looking forward to it myself.  And on your path to bigger and better, may you find it easy to listen to your heart and not everyone else’s BS along the way.

“Shoulds” are soooo 2011.

On Attunements and Fasting

I’ve noticed a recent trend while enrolling new students for Reiki classes, and I find it at least slightly disturbing.  I’ve had at least a dozen students in half as many months ask me for “the list of things they cannot eat” before, during, and/or after the attunement.  Was there a memo I wasn’t copied on-and most importantly, did it include the nutritionist/Dietician certification one needs to tell people what to/not to eat? Yeah…you need one of those to do that.

An attunement is a ceremony performed by a Reiki Master to “tune in” a new student/initiate to the energy of Reiki, and from that point on, they can access Reiki energy.  While the process of performing an attunement varies from teacher to teacher and lineage to lineage, it’s a powerful thing that is thought to kick start at 21 day cleansing process within the initiate, so they may be a more open vessel for Reiki.  The “21 day cleanse” comes from Mikao Usui, the founder of Usui Reiki and all of it’s varied branches.  Basically, Mikao Usui was a Buddhist Monk of the Tendai tradition who fasted and meditated for 21 days (as was the tradition, and still is,  in Tendai Buddhism) and had an epiphany on the 21st day where he saw the 4 traditional Reiki symbols, ran down Mount Kurama, and began teaching.  Well, maybe-many assert that he already knew of these symbols as part of his Buddhist tradition but came up with the system on his own, or was encouraged to start teaching it by Spirit as a result of this event.  Mikao Usui passed away nearly 90 years ago so I cannot ask him myself, but I have seen the symbols (at least one of them) carved on Temples in India that are thousands of years old, so they did exist on Earth before he did.  So, YOU decide what happened.

No matter the case, when Usui fasted he ate NOTHING-not a thing-for 21 days.  It takes a LONG time to build up to this, and it is part of the Tendai tradition…as is miles upon miles of walking (tendai.org), self-flagellation (Musafar, 2003), and a number of other things that you DO NOT see in modern American Reiki.  He was by no means doing the fast you are likely being told is “necessary”, which I have seen to run the gamut but include:

• Vegan
• Gluten free
• No sugar
• No carb
• Master Cleanse
• One or another fruit juices
• Liquids only
• Raw Foods
• Liver or colon “detox”
• “Stimulant” free
• Probiotic
• Macrobiotic
• …name a fad diet you heard of here

There is no evidence to suggest that Usui followed any of these diets.  Furthermore, there is no evidence to suggest that he required his students to do so either.

I’m sure a few Reiki teachers are reading this and seething, as it flies in the face of what you know Reiki to be.  I ask you to please breathe and keep an open mind. Some of you may be thinking “well, these diets are more accessible that a full-on fast”, which is true, but not all of these diets will work for all bodies-and many of these diets cancel each other out or contradict each other. More of you are likely saying “but it worked for me”, to which I say YOU are not EVERYONE ELSE.

The physiology of the human body varies greatly and for many reasons, from activity level to Ph to overall functioning to disease.  If someone is a diabetic and they force themselves to use the Master Cleanse, which involves drinking lemon juice, black strap molasses and cayenne pepper exclusively, their blood sugar will skyrocket and will have serious health issues….or if they are healthy and training for a marathon, they won’t last long without proper intake of carbs and protein at the correct times.  I have seen students of mine try the Raw Foods diet.  Some have experienced great health with it, others have gotten violently ill as they could not digest a diet of only raw vegetables and fruit.  I have gluten intolerance and allergies to nuts and peanuts, soy, and more…sorry but “beans” do not all my protein needs provide, especially since I walk a minimum of 4 miles a day (yes, even when I eat them with rice) so I do eat meat.   And while we’re talking Gluten Free, lets cite this recent article about how many people misconstrue “gluten free” to be always “healthy”, and quit asking about the food’s content as long as those two little words appear on the package.

Now the psychology of food choices.  When we suggest that people purge large swaths of options from their diet, we vilify foods and food groups.  To some, this exacerbates eating disorders like Anorexia; which have a 5-20% mortality rate depending on who you’re talking to.  It also fosters something called Orthorexia – NOT a DSM classified mental illness like Anorexia, Bulimia, and other eating disorders but bears mentioning. Many a healing arts affair or potluck have turned into a “who’s diet is more restricted” competition.

Full disclosure – as I have mentioned in this blog before, I have anorexia.  And I have experienced the pitfalls of misguided practitioners telling me what to do to heal it while understanding not at all what eating disorders even really are-mental illness, and the most deadly forms of it, thankyouverymuch. Certainly not something to be trifled with.

In my experience of teaching Reiki for the past three years (and practicing for the past five) I can tell you that the attunement process is real, and intense.  It brings things up for healing, and intensifies our awareness of what we need to do…yes, including changing our diets from time to time.  I’ve seen carnivorous students go veg, and I’ve seen veg students eat a bacon cheeseburger. So what do I tell my students to do when they ask what NOT to eat over the 21 days?  I strongly advise them AGAINST making any dietary changes, and instead pay close attention to what their body tells them it needs and wants.  I caution them to pay attention and partake slowly when it comes to alcohol, caffeine, and street drugs as their body may be more sensitive to the effects (though, from what my students report, this is seldom the case).  I encourage students to use this time of enhanced sensitivity to listen to their body and support it in supporting them, seeking guidance of nutrition professionals if they see a need for significant change.  The outcome is different for each and every student, and rewarding every time.

So why did your Reiki teacher tell you to do this?  Perhaps they are doing it in honor of Usui’s fast, or maybe they don’t think much of the attunement as a stand-alone tool and feel the need to add to it’s intensity.  Maybe they are interpreting the precept “be kind to every living thing” as a suggestion of a Vegan lifestyle, or maybe they have wrapped their dietary, social or political views into their practice.  It’s also likely they are just repeating what their teacher(s) told them.  In short,  I have no idea and maybe they don’t either.  Try giving them an ask and see what they say.  If they get all upset, have them direct their hate mail at me (plenty of others do!) But above all, listen to your body and your own good sense.  If your body isn’t happy, it generally tells you so…although it helps if you are quiet enough to listen.

K.I.S.S.:Keep it Simple…and Sustainable-10 Tips for Making your Wellness Practice Economically Fit

Over the past few months, I have been approached by colleagues in the Wellness industry concerned about difficulty finding clients, low bookings, and entire workshops falling flat.  ”My classes are under-enrolling…why?” ”This $150 workshop that always does well had no takers, what gives?” And my personal favorite “How do I stop someone from stealing all my clients?  Someone must be doing it, because no one has scheduled with me!”

When I suggest my worried colleagues consider the ramifications of the recession, the response I most commonly get is “Wait, do you really think it has to do with THAT?”  In a word, YES! (In a phrase, get your head out of your…)

Depending on where you live, unemployment is currently at about 10%.  I hope this isn’t a surprise, as the jobless rate has been above 9% for all but 2 of the last 26 months. If you think that the Wellness industry is immune to the bust, well hold on to your mala beads, ‘cuz it ain’t.  Let me break down some numbers for you.  Most wellness practices (which includes you, if you charge $60+ and expect to see your client regularly) seek clients with a disposable income-which Skip Van Meter claims to be a household earning at least $150,000.00/year in the 2009 book “Acupuncture is Like Noodles”.  According to the US Census,  that was roughly 8.2% of the population from 2005-2009.  If you’re service is only within reach of less than 10% of people that is already a tough sell, but I am sure you can see why a 10% unemployment rate on top of that means that there is no way that your wellness practice is getting out unscathed.

This week, CNN published an article about how 64% of Americans are unprepared to deal with an emergency expense of $1000. How much do you charge for a session, class or workshop?  Now, divide that by how much you spent on your last single bag of groceries.  As Sean Jacobs, Founder of Hawthorne and Kensington Yoga & Reiki Studios in Philadelphia said to me this week “Nobody needs us. We’re whipped cream.” Whipped cream indeed, and in an economy where people aren’t even ordering desert. Yes, the service you provide-and you-are great.  But in the grand scheme of serious things in a person’s life, you don’t hold much (if any) rank.   Sorry if it makes your ego hurt, but its true.

So, what to do to sustain your practice while your client’s wallets take a hit? Keep in simple. Take out the chichi extras they told you in school would “add so much value” to your service.  If your clients can’t afford them, they’re worthless. Let’s explore 10 ways to simplify your practice so you can pass some savings down to your clients while keeping service quality 100%.:

1. Find a more affordable space, or consider sharing space with another practitioner or practitioners.
2. Cut out the expensive incense, candles, even tea.  When buying “extras” like these, ask yourself if it is something your client wouldn’t mind paying for (since they are).
3. Make a list of your expendables (things you use up) including TP, tissues, laundry detergent, cleaning products, lotions, etc. Price compare, consider switching brands, or find a website you can buy multiple needed items to save on shipping.
4. What about offering an option for shorter sessions at a lower price?  It’s a way to meet your client’s financial needs, and keep business.
5. Consider shortening your intake or wrap-up procedures to open up more appointment slots on your schedule.  If you are doing 15 minutes of intake on your client every week before a massage or reiki session, it’s excessive.  You’re not their therapist.
6. Be consistent. People with fewer resources are much more discriminate spenders.  They want to KNOW what they are getting for those dollars.  Be there, every day or week, giving the same great service the same great way.  You’ll become part of their schedule and their budget
7. If you do a workshop, do it to introduce yourself to new clients.  Since you are essentially promoting yourself, make it free or very low cost to attend. Showcase what your service can provide, and give free samples/examples.
8. Ask every client where they heard about you, and include it on the intake form.  Evaluate which methods of marketing work for you and which don’t -for example, if most of your business is word of mouth, a refer-a-friend program may work better for you than an ad in the paper and cost you a lot less.
9. Barter for services you need.  If you have a client, friend or colleague who are photographers, for example, trade with them for new headshots.
10. Think about changing your pricing structure to “sliding scale”.  A sliding scale allows your clients to pay according to what they can afford.  Sliding scale tips-1. Do not ask for income verification/pay stubs, its humiliating, use it as a practice in building trust and 2.Set the bottom of the scale at a price that is still somewhat profitable for your practice -it’s not a Robin Hood thing. (check out this book for more info on how to do sliding scale right)

Now I know some of you have read this far and are horrified at these suggestions, the word “devaluing” possibly flashing in your mind’s eye.  If that’s the case, then I ask…what is it exactly that you DO, and why do you need a $3000 fountain or $40 incense to make it work? If your practice/modality/method is truly effective, it’s easy to look beyond splashy items and treat your client no matter what the environment. The idea that something must be high in dollar value to be high in value is nothing but an elitist Jedi mind trick. Chujiro Hayashi, the second initiate of Reiki in my (and most American practitioner’s) lineage, had a large clinic where two practitioners (usually students) treated a client for short amounts of time on…tatami mats.  A far cry from a massage table.

I hear practitioners make the argument that if it’s not a “Zen Spa” type of setting, they just can’t work, it isn’t good enough for their clients, etc.  And when I hear this, all I can think of is that noise Snooki makes (which you can listen to here) so please, do not expect sympathy from me.  YOU make your space, not the STUFF in it.

Your clients are making choices, not because they want to, but because they have to.  And if you aren’t willing to consider the entirety of their commitments and priorities, you may find yourself in the same boat as them.

Here are two of the best examples I can think of of affordable, sustainable and consistent wellness practices that work, and where you can try them out for yourself.  Don’t knock it till you tried it.

Yoga & Reiki - If you live in Philadelphia, 3 times a week, and at two different studios, you can get a great Yin/Beginner’s Yoga class and get Reiki in every pose…on a sliding scale of just $5-15.  You decide what you pay.  No gimmicks, pre-registration, commitments, guilt, or expectation of a “tip”.  No justifying why you need a discount.  Just two great affordable services combined at a Yoga collective where the very bright teacher/practitioner and his assistants earn money.  Everyone wins! If you want to start offering Yoga & Reiki, contact Sean Jacobs-he’ll happily help you do it and even teach you himself! Check out Hawthorne and Kensington Yoga & Reiki

Community Acupuncture Network-This is a lovely, 10 year old network of independently owned and operated Acupuncture centers where clients pay just $15-40/treatment.  How? Practitioners take just 10 minutes to “needle” their clients, allowing them to relax (and often nap) while they treat other clients.  Since they can treat more clients in less time, they maximize what they can earn while passing along the savings to the client.  Well over 100 locations throughout the US, Canada and abroad.

Special Event! Danielle to Lecture at Fort Mifflin Fundraiser in Philadelphia

I’m very excited to be presenting about Shamanic approaches for dealing with the Paranormal, including spirit attachment and possession.  The event will take place at the beautiful “Fort that Saved America” Fort Mifflin, and will have many vendors and presenters.  You can even take part in a paranormal investigation of the Fort if you wish!  General admission tickets are just $6, lectures are $40 and the nighttime investigation $100 (combo tickets are $125).  All proceeds go directly to support and preserve this historic gem on the Delaware River. You can purchase your tickets online today on the event website.

This event is being presented by The Shadows Radio on the Para X Radio Network.  Listen to their show every Wednesday at 7pm by clicking here.  Danielle will be on Wednesday August 10!

I hope to see you there!

10 Tips on How to Succeed as a Reiki, Bodywork or Massage Therapist

They are questions I get a lot: How do I get started doing Reiki/Massage? Where do you find your clients? What are the first things I need to do?

I’ll share with you all the answers.  But I warn you, almost as a rule, people do not like the answers. I can sum it up in just 5 words:

A lot of hard work

And there you have it.  Having a practice is not a “set and forget” proposition, it’s something more like a garden-it requires attention, labor and love to start and sustain it.
Here’s the top ten things you need to know to start a thriving Reiki practice.

1.Forget what they told you in Massage school or Reiki training about the business you are in…if they told you anything at all.

Massage schools tell you you’ll make $40,000-65,000 your first year while “making your own hours”.  You’ll be lucky if you make half that as an independent contractor where you will only work when there is work to be had.  Usually, there are no promises for a minimum amount of hours, and no benefits. You don’t work when YOU want to work, you work when your CLIENTS want a session.  That’s usually service hours (nights and weekends) because most people work 9-5 or thereabouts. The only people making $40,000-65,000 per year in this industry are owners of established spas.

Reiki practitioners that do not offer any other services are often passed over for jobs by people who do.  It is much easier for a business to book someone with more versatility.  Generally, the only time I see listing for Reiki practitioners who offer no other services are in remote parts of the country where no one else offers Reiki.  So, if you simply wish to offer Reiki, you may be going it alone or renting space as a partner in a collective practice.

2. If you don’t take yourself seriously, no one else will.  I Direct a 9 person wellness collective in South Philly called Philly Community Wellness, and one of my duties is the process of vetting new members.  These members are actually paying rent, and earning 100% of what their client pays-essentially, the opposite of a job or contractor, they are independent entrepreneurs.  In order to work side by side with us, prospective members still need to submit three things before I will even sit down and interview them in person.  They are:

• Resume
• Proof of Training
• Proof of Insurance

TIP-It helps to have these scanned as files you can email too, if at all possible.

Even the clothing stores in my neighborhood require a resume, and they pay about $7/hour.  People you want to work for or rent with need to see who you are in one clear snapshot.   If you are looking to rent space alone, a landlord will want to see at least this (more likely, they will demand an actual business plan).

Proof of Training – Employers and partners alike will check your credentials…and yes, I have caught people with their pants down on this before. If you are trying to fly under the radar without having completed training, you won’t get far, and you’ll make a bad name for yourself in the process.

Proof of Insurance-Absolutely, and yes, for Reiki as well.  Read the policy carefully to make sure that it truly covers you (i.e, that your training was enough hours, etc).  Just because they take the payment does not mean that you are covered if you fail to meet the requirements.  And check stipulations-in example, practitioners are seldom covered for fires caused by candles.

Many Reiki practitioners mistakenly think that they do not need insurance, since what they do is not massage and has no contraindications.  Any lawyer will tell you a huge amount of lawsuits against any kind of business involve slips and falls on their property. No, they don’t just sue your landlord (although they will sue them too) and no, your homeowners or renter’s insurance will not cover it.  Those policies only cover people visiting you at a residence.  If you are using your residence as a business, you are not within the policy. Reiki practitioner insurance generally costs less than $200/year, and is well worth it!  (If you are starting a home based practice, read item 5 very carefully)

3. You are a Reiki, Bodywork or Massage PROFESSIONAL.

You want to be a pro?  Fake it till you make it, play the part.  Here is an email I got from someone looking to join the collective:

I am {name} a Certified Massage  Therapist , ABMP member interested in practice ad the community wellness center…

Besides the fact that we don’t offer massage (something made clear on our website…doh!) It needs to read something more like this:

I am interested in becoming a provider at {your business}.  I am experienced in {services A, B and C} and studied at {school}. My approach is integrative, meeting the client’s individual and unique needs. (or, something true about your method of practice, what clients you may wish to specialize with, etc)

I have attached my resume for your review, and references are available upon request.
Thank you for your time and consideration.

Regards,

your name and contact info

Tip-Calling a business prior to emailing them is generally a good idea. 

I once requested a resume from someone, and they asked me to help them write it.  Google, anyone? Make sure your voicemail is ready for people to leave professional messages, check your email regularly, and get an email address that is not something along the lines of “bootylicious6969@email.com”.

Also, avoid saying negative things about other practitioners whether they practice your modality or not.  If you are talking poorly of another practitioner or business, how can your client imagine you making them feel any better? If pressed, simply state that you don’t know enough about them to form an opinion, and suggest they look the person up on Yelp or other public review site.  You’ll come out smelling like a rose.

4. Prepare yourself to be part of the service industry.

Many people entering the world of Professional Wellness Providers right now are corporate refugees facing little or no job opportunities in their former profession or looking for more meaningful work.  I find many aspiring practitioners are resistant to letting go of their former titles to chat about their practice in the back of a grocery store, stumping for clients and possibly being heckled in the process.  It can be a humbling experience. And, it’s the only way to get things rolling.  Sorry, but it is the truth. Also, see item 1 about the hours you can expect to work.

Another huge problem I’ve seen is the lack of client service skills.  If you are treating society at large, you therefore need to be socially aware….ignorance is not bliss.  Remember the Golden Rule.

This list identifies just a few of the clients I have seen in the past 12 months:

• Sexworkers (persons who perform sexual services for compensation)
• Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender folks
• Genderqueer persons – those who may not identify as “male” or “female”, and may prefer gender neutral pronouns (i.e. “they” instead of “he” or “she”)
• Persons with HIV/AIDS, Hepatitis and STIs
• Those with Mental Illness (I fall into that category, as I have been treated for Anorexia)
• War vets and domestic violence survivors with PTSD (I fall into this category, too-I’m a domestic abuse survivor)
• Sex assault and abuse survivors
• People who have had abortions, and/or work in abortion clinics

Are your space, your intake sheet and demeanor inviting to all of these people?

I once had a practitioner show up to interview to join the practice.  I waited on the steps outside for her and as she approached the building and I asked her who she was looking for, she gave me quite a look and refused to answer…three times.  She stared at the number on the building, horrified by my presence, and called the number she had been given…and was horrified when it was my phone that rang.  People with dreadlocks, piercings and tattoos run businesses AND GET BODYWORK too. She was too embarrassed to continue with the interview.

We’ll have a follow-up to this post with advice on what to include and leave off an intake form, and please check out the links at the bottom of this post for more information on how to start preparing yourself to serve the masses.

5. You need a safe place to practice

I’ve been scolded and scoffed at for making this statement before, and I’ll continue shouting it from the rooftops.  If you provide any bodywork service, clothed or otherwise, anywhere (not just Cities), you need a safe and secure place to see your clients as your safety requires it.  I’ll put it to you this way-Archangel Michael is totally my homeboy…and it does not mean that I am going to light a cigarette while drenched in gasoline.  I’ve heard every excuse:

“It only happens in Massage, not Reiki” I know 4 Reiki practitioners that were robbed or had a sexual incident occur.  Criminals don’t care what you call it, they are not there for healing.

“I’m careful” People are careful about Birth Control too, but yet there are a lot of us walking around!

 ”If something bad happens, I manifested the situation” That is the law of attraction used backwards as a tool of victim blaming.  Two of those four Reiki practitioners I know DID NOT report their incident because they blamed themselves in this way.  Two opportunities to get a criminal off the streets were missed.  Enough of the blame game…report it!

Two safety tips:

1. NEVER post bodywork services on Craigslist.  It’s against their use terms now because someone was killed doing that.
2. Do NOT accept phone calls from blocked, private or anonymous phone numbers. In my experience it greatly cuts down on the number of “sketchy” calls.  If your phone carrier does not allow you to block these calls, use a forwarding service like google voice (which is free) that does.

Also, it is illegal in most places to run a business from a residence-check your local zoning requirements and ordinances.  You could be fined, shut down, or even evicted if you live in a rented space, as it is likely in violation of your lease.

So, that’s the five BIG things I tell anyone who is looking to start a practice.  It ain’t pretty, but it is the truth.   Just like a well-tended garden, your hard work will pay off in a most beautiful and rewarding way.

Here’s 5 small tips to help your garden thrive:

Business Cards They do not need to be fancy or expensive, and you ideally want to go through 500 cards every 2-3 months.  You can design your own online at vistaprint.com. Bonus points for avoiding pink and flowers, because men enjoy Reiki too! Hand them to everyone you meet, and leave them everywhere there is a place to.  I’ve met clients at the grocery store, Wawa, Library, walking down the street…

Email Marketing Keep track of client and student emails, and put out an email signup sheet at every event you take part in.  Email marketing is inexpensive and effective.  Ones to try are Vertical Response and Mailchimp, but there are hundreds of low-cost options.

Meetup.com Set up an event and/or take part in other events to meet like-minded people & potential clients.  Don’t just explore Reiki, but other things like nature groups, metaphysics, yoga…

Public Events, Community Service & Volunteering Get a table at a festival or fair, host a free workshop at a local natural foods store or library, offer your services for free at fundraisers.  Start a neighborhood beautification group, or volunteer at a local charity.  You’ll meet great people who want to support you, and likely deepen your practice in the process.  I volunteered with a local animal shelter when I was first starting, and the effort was rewarding in more ways than I could have imagined. GET OUT THERE! Most people still don’t know what Reiki is. Collect email addresses and distribute business cards.

Start Trading In my opinion, the most important tip of all…trade sessions with other local bodyworkers, especially those who offer services that differ from your own.  You’ll get much-needed self-care while letting other know who you are, and learn about other modalities that can help your clients.

Please enjoy the following sources & resources to help your practice, and may your garden prove fruitful:

Starting a Reiki Practice – Business Basics by Marianne Streich Another great article on starting a Reiki practice, including information about business structures.

5 Easy Things to Make Your Clinic Shine More Brightly by Michelle Faucher A wonderful article on how to make your practice more LGBT friendly, with lots of resources linked within. A must read.

Reiki for Veterans by By Eileen Dey, M.A., RMT & Michael Emanuel, RMT A personal account of Reiki for Vets struggling with PTSD.

Reiki Wellness Project more about Reiki for Vets with PTSD

Healing Triumphs over Donestic Violence-How Massage Therapists and Bodyworkers Can Change the World by Stephanie Mines, Ph.D. Best practices for Bodyworkers treating survivors of Domestic Violence

The Sex Workers Project Information about the rights of individuals who engage in sex work, regardless of whether they do so by choice, circumstance, or coercion.

Don’t Fear the Modality

Please enjoy this nice little ditty about not fearing death that’s been stuck in my head since naming this post (yes, it’s about suicide, but it’s from the 70s and everything was edgier back then-deal with it).

I love Reiki. It’s a great, gentle method of healing that is easy to use anywhere and at any time.  A practice of self-improvement and healing can do wonders for a person.  And it’s safe!  No contraindications, side effects, or interactions.  You can use it along side any other treatment-holistic or otherwise-without fear of something going wrong.  What’s not to love?

One of the reasons I did the 21 day challenge was to explore the world of the healing arts, to share what different modalities were like, and showcase the many other theories of healing that exist.  It was my hope that these experiences would enrich my Community of healers as well as empower people on their own path to healing-a hope that came true.  I have received positive feedback from around the Country and bumped into people locally who have reported benefits and/or relief from methods they may not have heard of or tried otherwise.

I’ve also been told “I love what you wrote about xyz, but I would never do that. That has contraindications”.  So far, all the people who said that to me were Reiki practitioners.  It saddens me to see practitioners with a downright fear-yes, the other four letter F word, fear-towards anything that is NOT Reiki. It’s a big world out there, and there is so much to try that can benefit us in so many ways.  It seems like in some cases, our love for Reiki can prevent us from growing…or even healing.

Of course, there are modalities with contraindications that can be harmful. I have done my best to include all known pitfalls when reviewing different forms of bodywork for that reason. Massage can trigger a heart attack in someone with uncontrolled high blood pressure, and reflexology and acupressure can send blood clots up into the body’s main organs and is best avoided in people with a history of blood clots and stoke, recent surgery, etc.  I feel this underscores the importance of telling your practitioner *everything* about your health history before a session (and for practitioners, working within the constructs of the modality/modalities we were trained in).  But does it justify throwing out the baby with the bath water?

It can’t hurt to get to know your practitioner,  where they studied, or research the modality first.  If you were hiring a plumber or roofer for your house, would you not ask for recommendations?  See if they are licensed/registered with the municipality or insured? There is nothing wrong with that, in fact, it’s prudent.  But we need to be realistic.  People get hit by cars every day, yet we cross the street…although, it helps to look first.

I’ve had people cite all kinds of sources (most often the web) to claim that a particular method or modality is anything from fake to “dangerous”.  When pressed on why a particular thing might be so dangerous, I can almost never validate even a part of a true story.  Or, if I can, it’s usually a matter of opinion that they do not LIKE the modality (or perhaps the practitioner) rather than it was actually harmful. Yes, opinions are valid-and they are not facts, but often experiences, understandings, and sometimes even misunderstandings.

The truth is, some people are afraid of Reiki. While it is a widely held belief that it is always safe (a belief I hold), there are people who feel differently.
I feel this is a good opportunity to step back from being “in the Reiki world”, and look at our industry from the outside.  How does someone unfamiliar to the practice look at it? What information is out there? You may be surprised to find out. Look what I found in just 15 minutes of searching the Web for info about Reiki:

• When choosing a Reiki practitioner, give “extra points” to those who improve their energy by doing things like avoiding garlic and onions
• Reiki is a pyramid scheme
• Reiki causes diarrhea (also here)
• Reiki that is done “improperly” or by “inadequately trained” practitioners can do harm, pull out your energy and “f*ck (you) up severely”
• The Reiki Master symbol is demonic, and practitioners have been attacked by demons while practicing

Look what happens when the shoe is on the other foot.  Would you have believed these statements about Reiki and avoided it had you read them before you tried it? Think of all the positive benefit you would have missed out on.  And if we are in a glass house, should we be throwing stones?

It’s a fact-life carries with it a 100% chance of death.  Love is often followed by heartbreak for one reason or another, yet we forge ahead in spite of that. Is avoiding something due to risk making you safer, or impacting your quality of life?  Often, it’s a judgment call.

If you try something and don’t like it, or get a bad feeling about it, it’s fine to trust yourself.  Again, that is the point of this blog.  Imagine if someone half-read my piece on how Yoga affected me.  Yes, it was detrimental TO ME.  It does not mean that the practice should be scrapped and abandoned for posterity, it means I need to try something else.  And as much as it was not even remotely helpful for me, I am glad I tried it.  It was empowering to say “this does not work for me”, and move on.

The personal benefits I have received from trying other forms of healing have been well worth the effort.  They have improved my quality of life.  If we start avoiding potentially beneficial things out of a blind love for Reiki, is that not itself a contraindication? Imagine if we never crossed the street.

Before posting in the comments, please note: While I would enjoy some fruitful discussions about the topic, I’m not going to allow the comments on this to be used to bash any system, understanding or practitioner. Discuss experiences yes, slander no.  This is a blog, not a public forum and I have no problem deleting silliness and fearmongering.  If that’s what you wish to do, do it elsewhere.

On Haterade and Kool-Aid

I’m sorry I am so behind in posting.  I promise that I will review up to day 21 ASAP, which will include Cupping and Rising Star.  But, life has a way of happening; and priorities have a way of making themselves known.  But before I go any further, I’d like to take a few moments to discuss (one of the many) reasons I took a small sabbatical from writing the blog.  In a word, it is “myself”.

A few weeks back, when I wrote When the healing does not fit you must acquit (yourself), I got a LOT of positive feedback.  TONS!  I did not realize how many people were truly reading and why.  Thanks for reading, and I am so glad that this journey of self-exploration in a public forum was truly worth it.  Your support is deeply appreciated.  And also, I ruffled some feathers.  As we say in South Philly, somebody been sippin the haterade…and sip they did.  I got some hate mail.   Yup, for reals.

One was a completely understandable product of ignorance. “If you are thinking about/are cutting yourself, you should not be allowed out in public on your own”.   Passing along info about self harming behaviors, their prevalence, etc. seems to have helped.  The rest can collectively be summed up (paraphrased) as “well, I DO know what’s best for you! You just don’t want to let people help you/are resisting/are not ready to get better.” Sigh.

I talked it all out with a trusted friend (Thanks, Kelly!) and let it go.  It’s their shit to deal with.  So why bring it up?  Well, so you know where the Hell I have been for the past week or so….and to discuss something that has been in the news.  Something that is a heartbreaking and somber reminder of our role as practitioners and teachers as well as the dangers of Ego run wild.  The incident at a sweat lodge in Sedona, AZ that now has James Arthur Ray, famous for his involvement with The Secret, on trial for manslaughter…and most importantly has left three workshop participants dead, and their families in grief.

As I have said before, we all have an ego, and it can get the best of us at times.  And if we are not careful, our presumed authority as teachers and holistic practitioners can leave others in a precarious (or even flat-out dangerous) situation.  This tragic event highlights our responsibility to encourage others to trust and heal themselves from within, rather than blindly follow a Guru.

A sweat lodge, for those of you not familiar, is a small enclosed tent with hot rocks that may reach temperatures in excess of 100 degrees.  You do not need to be a Doctor to notice at least a few obvious health risks involved, after all, people die in heat waves every year.  When properly operated they are safe for most people (those without underlying health risks). When I have attended sweat lodges, I was always encouraged to leave or request help if I felt uncomfortable or unsafe.   Apparently, participants were told once they entered Mr. Ray’s sweat lodge they were not permitted to leave until the ceremony had ended, and Mr. Ray’s attorney claims it was for fear they would walk over the hot rocks and burn themselves.  Why this was not considered a safety hazard from the start escapes me, but I feel I need to mention that one of the three killed, Liz Neuman, was someone experienced in Mr. Ray’s Spiritual Warrior retreat and was there to help the participants.  Whether this is truly a case of manslaughter or a tragic accident is up to a jury, but it seems fairly clear that Mr. Ray and his staff has no idea what they were getting other people-or themselves-into.  I doubt that the attendees had any idea how ill prepared these highly trusted  “leaders” were, as it seems the leaders were unaware of it themselves.

Mr. Ray did warn participants that this was an intense exercise, and some people did sit out the sweat lodge.  And others, some of them injured and some not, survived the sweat lodge.  Nature is a curious thing, in that we are all so similar in some ways yet so different in others. Just like Dan Millman’s book has helped lots of people and triggered a relapse of anorexia for me, so do some choose to sit out a sweat lodge while others stay until they perish.  Three people clung to Mr. Ray’s statements, among them “You will feel as if you’re going to die…The true Spiritual Warrior will conquer death… when you emerge you will be a different person… you must surrender to death in order to survive it” until they actually died.

The Spiritual Warrior retreat promised to “Ensure success”  of the physical, mental, spiritual, financial as well as in relationships. When we promise that our method/brand/practice/philosophy will ensure happiness, we had better not be surprised when people believe us, and hold on with every hope they have ever had, in spite of how they may otherwise feel.    Don’t promise someone the sun, moon and stars and blame them for believing you!

Let’s take a moment to read a passage from “The Prophet” by Kahlil Gibran:

[S]eek not the depths of your knowledge with staff or sounding line.
For self is a sea boundless and measureless.
Say not, “I have found the truth,” but rather, “I have found a truth.”
Say not, “I have found the path of the soul.” Say rather, “I have met the soul walking upon my path.”
For the soul walks upon all paths.
The soul walks not upon a line, neither does it grow like a reed.
The soul unfolds itself, like a lotus of countless petals.

No man can reveal to you aught but that which already lies half asleep in the dawning of your knowledge.
The teacher who walks in the shadow of the temple, among his followers, gives not of his wisdom but rather of his faither and his lovingness.
If he is indeed wise he does not bid you enter the house of his wisdom, but rather leads you to the threshold of your own mind…
The musician may sing to you of the rhythm which is in all space, but he cannot give you the ear which arrests the rhythm, nor the voice that echoes it.

Let us take a moment and revisit what the teacher/student relationship truly is-one of exploration and possible enrichment on part of BOTH.  To inspire someone to embark on a journey of the soul is a beautiful thing.  To lead someone down THE path is really simply to lead someone down YOUR path.  In the worst case scenario, the path of your soul’s healing could also be the path of someone else’s destruction.

Add to that the group dynamic.  Many psychologists, including Freud, have pointed out that within the constructs of a group, a person can much more easily put the feelings and directives of the group above their own  needs and desires.  The following quote was taken from this CNN New article, in which a survivor of the sweat lodge tragedy is interviewed:

“I mentioned several times that I thought people were having issues and needed help to leave, and they didn’t wish to leave,” Melissa Phillips testified. She said she could hear “a snorting breath sound” from one of the participants, Kirby Brown, who died after the October 2009 event.

In the case of “mob” psychology, people may even abandon their own sense of right and wrong, doing things they would never otherwise do, because the group is doing it.  This can result in things like lynchings and possibly even prolonged events like The Salem Witch Trials.  If you take all that and add a charismatic person who (unlike James Arthur Ray) really did intent to do harm to others, like Jim Jones, you end up with Jonestown.  Tragically, Jim Jones led nearly 1000 people, nearly 1/3 of them children, to their deaths when he instructed them to commit mass suicide by drinking Kool-Aid laced with Cyanide.  Why do I bring up Jim Jones?  James Arthur Ray, while possibly reckless and certainly ill equipped, may have been involved in the deaths of three people he by no means poisoned them, or intentionally killed them.

Last week, I ran into my Reiki Teacher Kim Fleisher on the street, and we chatted a bit about this blog.  She said something about how she feels people often try to convince others of their modality/brand of healing in an attempt to convince themselves.  I agree with that.  Something I teach in my Business Basics for Bodyworkers and Wellness Providers class is HOW to explain what we do.  “It’s wellness, not a used car.  Stop trying to ‘sell’ it”, I often say.  But what I am really thinking is…quit pushing the Kool-Aid, and start offering options.  If you are pushing Kool-aid, even if just to convince yourself, you will only attract one kind of client.

Here is one more quote from someone a little more current:

“A lot of people don’t want to make their own decisions.  They’re too scared.  It’s much easier to be told what to do.” – Marilyn Manson

To my Haters-If you want to walk around proclaiming to have all the answers, the formula, “the secret” to everyone else’s happiness….have fun with that.  I’ll be on the difficult path-the one that is yet to be worn.  Yup, I’ll get scraped up and lost here and there, but I found my way in and will find my way out.  And all of the lessons I learn along the way will be well-earned.

You can keep your damn Kool-aid.

[S]eek not the depths of your knowledge with staff or sounding line. For self is a sea boundless and measureless. Say not, “I have found the truth,” but rather, “I have found a truth.” Say not, “I have found the path of the soul.” Say rather, “I have met the soul walking upon my path.” For the soul walks upon all paths. The soul walks not upon a line, neither does it grow like a reed. The soul unfolds itself, like a lotus of countless petals.

***

No man can reveal to you aught but that which already lies half asleep in the dawning of your knowledge. The teacher who walks in the shadow of the temple, among his followers, gives not of his wisdom but rather of his faither and his lovingness. If he is indeed wise he does not bid you enter the house of his wisdom, but rather leads you to the threshold of your own mind… The musician may sing to you of the rhythm which is in all space, but he cannot give you the ear which arrests the rhythm, nor the voice that echoes it.

Day 16 – Reiki and IET Self-Session

…And on the day after my 30th Birthday, I rested.  Not becuase I was hung over-I’m much too much of an old fart now to let that happen.  But, I was up late enjoying the company of some great friends who drove allll the way down from North Jersey with Wine just to make it a special day.  And it was!  Did we all go out for a fancy dinner?  No, we got cheesesteaks from downstairs at Ishkabibble’s!  Cheese fries FTW!  The guys down there, who I have come to know well, even made me that great borthday card…on the back of one of their food order slips, or corse!  I’m so glad that my Philly peeps and my NJ peeps got to meet and hang out.  Thanks, you guys.

So, the next morning, I lay in bed for about 40 minutes giving myself Reiki and IET, and enjoying my special day.  Life’s pretty good right now!